Bestselling author Joe Konrath goes on a beer fast for thirty days to lose weight.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Day 17

Feeling good.

My cameraman Latham did some research and told me it is impossible for a kidney stone to form in two weeks. So maybe it was just an unhappy coincidence that I passed one on this diet. Or maybe the diet exacerbated the condition. We'll never know.

I do know that I feel better since taking supplements. But that brings up another possible coincidence.

I'm hungry. REALLY hungry.

My hunger was manageable prior to supplementing. Since I've started, my hunger pangs have really kicked in.

Is it the vitamins and whey protein? Or is it the fact I've gone 17 days without eating?

Dunno. But I'm constantly being distracted by thoughts of bacon.

Mmmm. Bacon.

I love bacon.

Why don't the Slim Jim folks make a dried bacon snack? Wouldn't it be awesome to go into a 7-11 and get a prepackaged strip of bacon? Wouldn't that beat the hell out of beef jerky?

If I ever have a little girl, I'll name her Bacon. Then she could marry Kevin Bacon, and be called Bacon Bacon.

Then I'd eat her.

With hash browns.

Mmmm. Hash browns.

I'm going to go cry in the corner now.

Stool report: Smelled like swamp gas. Which was appropriate, because it looked like a swamp. If an alligator had jumped out of the toilet, I wouldn't have been surprised.

20 comments:

  1. Good to see your sense of humor back!

    ReplyDelete
  2. there's a phenom that occurs to most dieters on an extreme diet without fiber and variety; first two weeks they feel holy. after the two week mark, they start feeling the other 'h'... hungry. Body has its ways to try to get out of starvation mode.

    from Mayo Clinic, kidney stones are of several types, some form very quickly, esp if there is dehydration and elements in urine 'stick together' as a result. Here is the rest about risk factors from their site: "Factors that increase your risk of developing kidney stones include:

    Family or personal history of kidney stones. If someone in your family has kidney stones, you're more likely to develop stones, too. And if you've already had one or more kidney stones, you're at increased risk of developing another.
    Being an adult. Kidney stones are most common in adults age 40 and older, though kidney stones may occur at any age.
    Being a man. Men are more likely to develop kidney stones.
    Dehydration. Not drinking enough water each day can increase your risk of kidney stones. People who live in warm climates and those who sweat a lot may need to drink more water than others.
    Certain diets. Eating a diet that's high-protein, high-sodium and high-sugar may increase your risk of some types of kidney stones.
    Being obese. High body mass index (BMI), increased waist size and weight gain have been linked to an increased risk of kidney stones.
    Digestive diseases and surgery. Gastric bypass surgery, inflammatory bowel disease or chronic diarrhea can cause changes in the digestive process that affect your absorption of calcium and increase the levels of stone-forming substances in your urine.
    Other medical conditions. Diseases and conditions that may increase your risk of kidney stones include renal tubular acidosis, cystinuria, hyperparathyroidism and certain urinary tract infections."
    Hope you're well Joe.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ahh, err, umm... I have nothing to say.

    Drink your water, but not so much that you dilute your blood. I did that, though it wasn't a problem to me. It showed up in a job physical. "Why is your blood so thin?!"

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm so hiding this from my husband! I wouldn't want him getting any ideas LOL

    ReplyDelete
  5. Joe,

    You may want to add a fiber supplement like Benefiber which mixes well with water, or beer.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm betting the whey protein is leading to cravings. [Moreso if there's any significant carb content.] Also, they make bacon jerky. I dig it. http://baconjerky.com/ They had some at Wal Mart [though maybe not this brand] the last time I was in the States...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Joe,

    Tuesday - Day 16
    Thursday - Day 17

    What happened to Wednesday? Maybe the beer is finally taking effect.

    Morris

    ReplyDelete
  8. Why has reading this blog transformed the entire world into wannbe doctors, nutritionists, and counselors?

    And what makes anyone think that you are going to listen to common sense?

    Haven't they been reading you for years?

    Joe + Common sense = ERROR ERROR ERROR DOES NOT COMPUTE ERROR ERROR ERROR...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Joe,

    Luck is something that you can't see, touch, taste, hear, or feel. It can't be proven to exist. Do you still believe in it?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Joe, I've had a nagging pain on the left side of my hip, could you please ask your cameraman if I should soak it in warm water or ice it?

    ReplyDelete
  11. The premise of the book (and motion picture) AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS is that Phileas Fogg loses track of the number of days traveled because of the earth's rotation.

    Seems like you're losing track of the number of days you've been dieting. If Monday was Day 15 and Tuesday was Day 16, then Thursday has to be Day 18, not Day 17.

    Or are you planning to extend your diet an additional day?

    I've heard of a Lost Weekend, but in your instance it's a Lost Wednesday.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The supplements increase your metabolism which is why you feel hunger pangs.

    ReplyDelete
  13. We are glad you are doing better. If you ever do it again, we could help you make your own beer. Bacon Beer.

    ReplyDelete
  14. It's your lucky day. Monogram Foods here in Memphis makes BACON JERKY for Walmart, Bass Pro and their own private label.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm just hoping you start tacking a stool report onto your publishing blog once this diet is done.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Glad to see we are all over giving advice and back to good old fashioned watching a train wreck.

    Go get 'em Joe!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I just submitted your story to the TODAY show. Maybe you'll get some press.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Whey protein is like wheat for me, allergenic, addictive and creates digestive issues (also, if it's not pure whey - sugar or other ingredients in it could be driving cravings). :D Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Joe I had an ultra sound done showing several kidney stones in my left kidney, they counted 5 at the time. Since then I have passed 3. My doctor said I could help force them out by greatly increasing my water intake. I already drink at least 70 ounces of water a day but he said take it to over a gallon and I would get my stones out. So when I am feeling brave and want to deal with it, I drink over a gallon of water a day and sure enough after a few days out pops a stone. The reason I am telling you this is because I would think your kidney stone coming out is because of all the fluids you are drinking and they are simply flushing those stones you already had out. Also I just have to say I actually think your entire diet here has merit. I don't know if you heard of the guy who did the "convenience store diet"?? He ate nothing but the junk you find at a circle k (Twinkies, chips, etc. ) but stuck to only 1800 calories a day. After 2 months he lost 27 pounds and surprisingly did things like lower his cholesterol. His point was to show that when it comes to losing weight it is really all about caloric intake.
    Anyway I just wanted to say keep it up, I find this diet very interesting and I agree that if the monks aren't killing over then there really can't be much harm in it all. I actually take brewers yeast(in powder form) everyday to get my b vitamins, it is amazing stuff!

    here is that link to the story about the convenience store diet, it is interesting and I believe supports your theory and what you are doing. http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/11/08/twinkie.diet.professor/index.html

    Best of luck I can't wait to see the blood work results at the end, I think it will all turn out great!

    ReplyDelete