Worked out, and my trainer Maureen kicked my ass. (BTW, if you want a terrific, affordable trainer in the Northwest suburbs of Chicago, contact her at Jointhemaureencore@gmail.com.)
After the workout, I was sore. Sore, and hungry. I went to the grocery store and picked up some unflavored gelatin (5 calories, no discernible protein, carbs, fat, vitamins, or minerals) to make some beer Jell-O.
Yes, it sounds gross. But I gotta eat something or I'm going to claw my face off. Twenty days without food is unnatural. I also made some beer popsicles. I'll eat them tomorrow and see how terrible they are.
We're still shooting a lot of video, but I haven't posted anything recently because I don't have time to edit. I'm swamped with writing, and need to finish this book I'm working on.
A few editors have contacted me. I pay well, with a profit-sharing option if this documentary turns out to be salable. If you're a video editor and you want to throw your hat into the ring, contact me.
Physically, besides the hunger, I feel fine. No more kidney pain. No warning signals from my body. I'm sleeping well. Low energy, obviously, but nothing seems wrong or off.
Mentally, I'm alert and focused.
Emotionally, I'm hating myself for thinking up this insane idea. This is both the hardest, and the stupidest, thing I've ever done. I'm also a little discouraged. I've lost over 22 pounds so far, and I can see and feel a difference (finally wearing jeans with a 38 waist again, down from 40.) But I still have a lot of weight to lose. This was no quick fix. Every pound is a battle, and even if I lose 30 pounds on this diet like I hope, I still have at least 30 to go.
So in February, I'm thinking about doing another 30 day diet. Some ideas include:
The 30 Day Cracker Diet. One Saltine cracker per day, plus a Ritz on Sundays. I can also snack on one Goldfish every other day.
The 30 Day Hollywood Starlet Diet. Lose weight like the supermodels do, with laxatives and barfing.
The 30 Day Lap Dance Diet. Eat normally and go to a strip club every night. Probably won't lose weight. Probably won't care.
The 30 Day Dr. Seuss Diet. I will only eat foods that rhyme. Just as green bean, chip dip, and cat in the hat.
The 30 Day Meth Diet. We all know you don't need food when enjoying the laid-back experience that is meth amphetamines.
The 30 Day Caveman Diet. I will kill and eat a caveman.
The 30 Day Time Travel Diet. I use my time machine to visit years past and slap my younger self in the face every time I eat a Twinkie.
The 30 Day Human Centipede Diet. Guaranteed weight loss, but the food tastes like shit.
The 30 Day Eat Less and Exercise Diet. Right. As if dumb fad diets like this actually work.
The 30 Day Federal Diet. I eat the Bundestag in Germany. (My guess is .2% of readers will get that joke. For the rest of you there is Wikipedia.)
The 30 Day Jersey Shore Diet. I force myself to watch Jersey Shore for a month, and the nausea makes it impossible to hold down food.
The Other 30 Day Cracker Diet. I will kill and eat a white guy.
The 30 Day Twitter Diet. Make your own joke here.
How about you guys? Any votes for what diet I should do next?